I wrote the following as a status update today. "The topic of perspective was being discussed by myself and some friends of mine this morning. It has me thinking. All my life I have looked at myself as "disabled" That word just screams "can't", "powerless", "hopeless". A few minutes ago, My cat was wanting to escape when I let the dog out. So, what did I do? What I could. I chased him in my chair until I got him to where I could open a door and lock him in a room long enough for me to take the dog out. So, you see, I am not disabled...I just can't walk." I have to say it felt good to come to this conclusion. For so long, my entire life really, I have focused on what I couldn't do. The things that made me different than a "normal" person. The result is simple. I have never felt good enough. I have never felt like I was worthy of happiness. I have never felt like I would ever be happy because I wasn't "normal". There is a saying that what you think about becomes bigger and if I am honest I have to say that I have spent way more time than I would like to admit to being negative about myself. About others. About life.
I am almost 39. I have to say that in the last year I have made some positive strides for myself. I still haven't found the "happily ever after" but I finally believe that I am not just a freak of nature. I finally believe that I have things to offer myself, another person, the world.
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