An agenda..or Lack thereof?

Last night I got a surprise. One of those unexpected moments when no one else is around. I say unexpected cause I usually have everything planned or at least thought about in advance. So, when that moment came I realized I was tired. I crawled in bed early and slept for a long time. I got up just before 11am. I got somethin to eat, played online, did some laundry. People were in and out. Then, everyone was gone..again. My daughter has an over nighter with the youth group. The roommate is gone and I realize something. The silence is REALLY loud. I realize something else. My brain feels like oatmeal. It has some form but it's really soft. I don't have anything to think about. I don't have to think about doing any thing for any one else. I got to thinking about why the lack of mental activity makes me so tired. I'm not really sure. I mean, most of the time I don't "feel" like I am really the part I am playing. I mean, I know I am a mom but most of the time I wonder how good of a mom I am and so I guess trying to get it right takes up most of my brain cells. I dunno?