Simmering...that's what I feel like my brain is doing...simmering a bunch of different things together and the end result does not feel like it will be a yummy concoction. Time to mentally decompress...kinda like draining the fat from a pot and then adding seasonings.
It's 2 days before Christmas. This time of year always makes me think about the bonds I don't have with my family of origin, I seem to feel the void more during the holidays..And I did something today that I haven't done in years. I met someone in 3D..most of the people I talk to are on the internet. The internet is my link to the world since I am in a wheelchair. Anyway, as fate would have it, I met someone online that lives in the same town I do and we became friends. So we made plans to meet face to face. I am feeling vulnerable for lack of a better word. Wondering if the real me adds up to the online persona. I know this is an old fear. Still, it's there. I know life is about risk and I have gotten good at building a pretty thick wall around me so that I don't get hurt. The old adage about the familliar no matter how bad it is, is easier to deal with than the unknown is true. There's another adage about "nothing ventured nothing gained"..I feel good that I took a risk now it's just time to let go and try to stay out of the fear and stay in the present.
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